How to be normal in Biology class

Mittwoch, 19. Mai 2010
Atm, we are dealing with eating disorders and have now turned to nealthy nurishment.
Today's task was to to write down what we have eaten on a weekend day and on a normal school day.
hm....
HM....
How the fuck do I get a proper meal plan?
I took quite some time until I had finally managed to scribble down two days of eating that were not screaming I have an eating disorder!!!
This is just insane. I *ate* breakfast ,had a snack, a big snack for lunch, another snack,dinner
The weekend day I had a big lunch cause I usually sleep until like 12pm,had several snack and dinner.

For the school day I noted down to have consumed:
two slices of whole grain bread with veggie spread,drunk a glass of orange juice,an apple,a kiwi, a plate full of veggie and sauce to dip in, dinner:tofu potatoes veggie mix and salad

Such a tremendous amount but when I had a closer look at it it was still like barely 1000calories! O.o Shiiiiiiiiiiiit. So I doubled the amount of tofu and added some nuts.
Hm.Still rather low but in the end they did not even have a close look ath the cals but simply whether our diet was balanced blah.

Same thing with the weekend day. My fruit salad must have been tremendous and I had some veggie bruger and potatoes and veggies for dinner.

Still, though I made every single thing up I could not bring myself to write down to have eaten stuff like rice or noodles. Never.Ew.

Except of course when I binge/purge.
Ph.

Meantal leap ahead!

In th epast two weeks it has already happened TWICE that a probably over 20yr old guy in his car honked when driving by me giving me the thumbs up and smiling. Hm. Probably should be flattered or something but all I can think off I that fat guys seem to be interested in my and no hot boy shows up -.-*

Sorry ladies,this one was very short but I have to rush off to my therapist telling him I would have flung myself down a bride if there was some near my school after having written my maths exam. I did not allow myself to burst out in tears through it and hand in my paper after 15minutes but fought myself through it. I have probably failed it completely anyway.

2 Kommentare:

zen hat gesagt…

Ha. My sister could just write down the 2500 cal fried potatoes, soda, and skittles candy she ate and be done with the day.
xoxo zen

Peridot (G+P) hat gesagt…

Oh god, that sucks! It's bad enough having to enter what I eat into FitDay! I wouldn't want ANYONE to read it! *hugs!*

Some sayings and quotes I like...


"If you're looking for me, I'm hovering around phrensis, more precisely on the thin line between phrenesis and panic, just round the corner of deadly terror and not very far away from despair and idiocy!"
♦Sooner or later everyone will cause you pain…You just have to figure out which ones are worth it.
Smile. It’s easier than explaining why you’re sad…
Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh I’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am, it isn’t me…
My knight in shinig armour turned out to be a looser in aluminium foil
What's better? A lie, that drwas a smile (and satisfies) or the truth that draws a tear?
♦(translatet) I am my own hell,my own paradise,a fallen angel, that plunged herself into ruin
Technically, one simply gets unhappy by pondering.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!
I'm not afraid of Happy Endings.I'm just afraid my life won't work that way..

The only reason people hold on memories so tight is because memories are the only thing that won't change when everything else does.
Every time a child says"I don't believe in fairies" there's a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead"-Peter Pan

"When you lose the battle
You may as well give up the war"


.... nothing tastes as good as thin feels....sacrifice is giving up something good for something way better.....

When I hate...

When I hate
this stretch of skin
this bulge of thigh
this clinging fat
these beady eyes

When I hate
this stomach flab
this sagging chest
this chunky butt
these too small breasts

When I lose
my sense of self
my dignity
my pride in all
that makes up me

When I lose
this ugly face
this state of mind
my worst disgrace
then I'll be fine.
Then I'll be fine.
You'll see, I'm fine.
~Ant (Morgan S.)~