today was like THE EXERCISING DAY of the whole week.
There is this boy in ym circle of friends as I told you who loves cycling. But not the casual easy way....the hard,strenuous way.Like cycling up a mountain. Which is what the three of us did. 2hours of permanent cycling. 1,5 hrs of it were just up,up,up,a liiiittle bit straight forward,UPUPUP³
and then dooooooooooooooooooooooooooown. The way up was really strenuous and there were a few moments when I thought: Wow this is really hard... BUT I WILL KEEP ON CYCLING! No break. C'mon you can do it be strong !
Apart from a small part of the tour where actually even bicycle boy dismounted his bike I kept on riding,fighting my way up to the top always following him.
You can not imagine how proud I was after the tour. I am really tired and ate like 650cals afterwards-actually the total of cals consumed today is approx. 1400 cals but I burned 100cals by riding to school and I guessed that I must have burned at least 650 cals on this tour,estimating 80 cals per 15min. I really have no clue if this is an appropriate estimate or rather not enough. Sure it was really hard,sweated very much and could feel every muscle in my legs but I am just to...worried of over estimating the cals I burned. However, IF I burned more thant 640cals on that cycling tour it is only for my blessings :P
I am contemplating to give myself such a hardcore workout for my leg muscles every week from now on. Cycling boy does this stuff just-for-fun a few times a week. He is huge and really slim but his legs are just rock hard! And, being not alone makes doing this exercise on a regular basis way easier.
Uuuuuh,I am so anxious about this application I handed in on Thursday... I will give them one week and corssing my fingers as hard as I can for getting this sideline job and being finally able to join the gym. Although I have been eating this week too much weight-wise(tons of carrots and grean beans) it has still been okay calorie wise because of all the cycling I did every day. So fat-loss should be going well,right? The idea of spending 1.2 hours a day in a gym in the near futur is kinda thrilling =D
This makes covering up my eating habits so much easier. But of course I have to be careful to not get the idea in my parents' mind that I have started to a lil bit exercise obsessed O.O
Ed has accompanied me for a bit longer than 3years and I gotta feeling that I get through every possible stage a eating disordered person can have. Mia,Ana,Ednos and now it looks like obsessive exercising is on the run. Things I have not yet ticked off the list: abuse of laxatives( I will not count the few times I tried to use some as they were always kind of not *real* as they did not work. I mean what kind of laxatives have a dosis of 1-10 "as one likes"? I have read enough from you and your experiences), diet pills, fasts.. may it be only liquids for a week-only water-only a certain kind of food
*mental leap*
the oncoming topic in my major biology will be uhm is it called Body Image Disturbance? basically eating disorder. yaaaaay, *my* topic again. Even today on the last 10minutes of the lesson when we started talking about it I was babbling like a waterfall. There are few people in my class knowing a bit (according to the teacher quite much but uhm.... NOOOOOOOT just the typical really superficial things) about eating disorder= anorexia/bulimia. But there is also a shitload of douchbags knowing less than nothing. One of the guys actually asked why the body is not able to keep the food eaten in when you are bulimic?! WTF. YES MY DEAR, IF YOU ARE BULIMIC YOUR MEAN BODY WILL NOT LET YOU KEEP YOUR FOOD IN! -.-
Oh,and did you know swallong tpieces of tissues adn stuff dipped in orange stuff is an eating disorde ron its own?! -.-*
And apparently anoretics do not eat. Ever.
Strong urge to smack half of the course.
Or at least to scream right into their faces how it is to have an ED. How complicated it is. How.... you all know. I had a really weird feeling when they were talking about EDs, looking at the dark mark on my left hand-the sign of b/p
Only a few weeks ago I was rather slim.Maybe there is at least one tiny good thing of my ballooning up over Easter holidays,cause I am pretty sure at least my biology teacher might have recognixed something as she has a friend who is anorexic and biology usually always know a bit more about eating disorders and signs and stuff.
I am sorry to quit here but the fatigue is just kinda overwhelming and i feel like the writing has become really poor quality but at least I gave you some information about my life.
2 Kommentare:
Gawd you freak! How the hell do you do you do that? I would die from all that exercise.
Why no fruit btw? Fruit is yum.
I am so glad I finally got a chance to catch up on your blog.
xoxo zen
I'm sooo jealous of your bike ride! D: The wind here made it too dangerous for me to hop on my bike today.
I'm crossing my fingers for you and getting that part-time job! The gym is awesome! Lol, you'll need a good workout playlist. ;)
I think the compulsion to eat things that aren't food is called Pica. Apart from that I ant to join you in your classmate-smacking rampage. I'll bring a couple of big sticks so we can switch to beating when our hands get sore :p Douche-canoes like that really bug me.
Have an awesome weekend Mina darling! Good luck with the recovery from the bike ride. Try to eat something high in protein like tofu or edamame beans if you can. It will help you build nice lean leg muscles :D
<3
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