..is the only reason I can name for my behaviour. Friday morning a friend of mine tells me that he is kinda worried cause i egt thinenr everytime he sees me and blahblah you know and what is my reaction? At first I run around with a big fat smile that implies satisfaction and pride. But just when I come hoem from school I start pigging out. And it does not end. Eating like a horse from Friday evening to right now Sunday night is just INSANE. There is no logic in this actions. Mina,for the las bloody time: When somone drops a comment about your figure DO NOT respond to it with hardcore pigging out but be pride and contented and keep on losing!!!
Do you get that?!?!
Oh damn it...Friday morning back to 52,6kg and everythign ruined withing three days...I am afraid to step on the scale on Monday. I want to fast soooo much...I wanna have control...had three goddamn days to do my sideline job, three piles of magazines waiting for me to be delievered... perfect workout to burn cals but NOOOO lazy me stays in bed or disappears into the www whole weekend. Damn, Monday is the last chance no matter how cold it is. Must.do.this. Three weeks until so called "Abisaufen".Basically it is the last day of oral tests for the Abitur and after it everyone celebrates like hell ,gets awfully drunk in our local park and partys from 1PM until like 6PM. ALso it is the last day before Easter holidays start.
_-
Sodding hell I have been feeling preggy the past days and I despise it so much. Am wondering what the friend of mine would say if I told him how much I ate the past three days...
TURN INTO A WIBBLY WOBBLY WHALE WITHIN ONLY 3 DAYS!!!
Oh geeze stop it! You are doing fine! I almost fell off my chair when I saw that picture of that fatty on the couch... I laughed so hard! Why do we exaggerate our bad days soooo much?!
♦"If you're looking for me, I'm hovering around phrensis, more precisely on the thin line between phrenesis and panic, just round the corner of deadly terror and not very far away from despair and idiocy!"
♦Sooner or later everyone will cause you pain…You just have to figure out which ones are worth it. ♦Smile. It’s easier than explaining why you’re sad… ♦Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh I’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am, it isn’t me… ♦My knight in shinig armour turned out to be a looser in aluminium foil ♦What's better? A lie, that drwas a smile (and satisfies) or the truth that draws a tear? ♦(translatet) I am my own hell,my own paradise,a fallen angel, that plunged herself into ruin ♦Technically, one simply gets unhappy by pondering. ♦Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain! ♦I'm not afraid of Happy Endings.I'm just afraid my life won't work that way.. ♦The only reason people hold on memories so tight is because memories are the only thing that won't change when everything else does. ♦Every time a child says"I don't believe in fairies" there's a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead"-Peter Pan
♦"When you lose the battle You may as well give up the war"
.... nothing tastes as good as thin feels....sacrifice is giving up something good for something way better.....
When I hate...
When I hate this stretch of skin this bulge of thigh this clinging fat these beady eyes
When I hate this stomach flab this sagging chest this chunky butt these too small breasts
When I lose my sense of self my dignity my pride in all that makes up me
When I lose this ugly face this state of mind my worst disgrace then I'll be fine. Then I'll be fine. You'll see, I'm fine. ~Ant (Morgan S.)~
Measures: thigh 49/50cm arm - 24cm waist - 64cm hip - 88cm
Behind the mask...
Well,if you saw me you'd think I'm just a girl doing well in this world,maybe a bit pale but that's it- actually I'm anything but "normal".
To my friends,I'm the nice blonde veggie girl,addicted to Great Britain,tough,self-confident,sometimes a bit too mouthy but all in one a young,intelligent girl that knows what life is all about .. if they could look into my head and see what's really going on inside me they'd probably run away terribly terrified...
My life consists of the Me I appear to be on the outside and the real Me,which I can only live out on the internet,in my diary or in my head.
Btw, I'm german so pls forgive any mistakes.
I came here to share my thoughts with like-minded persons as you,because I think this is the only place to in a community where I can let my social mask of normality fall and be truthful, above all else. =)
2 Kommentare:
Oh geeze stop it! You are doing fine! I almost fell off my chair when I saw that picture of that fatty on the couch... I laughed so hard! Why do we exaggerate our bad days soooo much?!
xoxo zen
Man the harpoons!! There's a whale squishing Mina!!
Sorry for the absence hun, work and uni have killed my brain >.<
*hugshugshugshugs* Good luck for your oral tests!
Kommentar veröffentlichen