I think someone out there likes to drive me almost insane..!

'Kay.... Saturday was really crazy.
I stepped on the scale and it said 53.o kilos! O.O
That's like 0.8kilos over night just *poof* away !
Sure, I had to go empty myself after what feels like forever at about 2 in the morning but when I stepped on the scale at like 2PM I would have dared to wish for such a result!
I felt like a million dollars! Suddenly there was so much hope gain adn the whole world seemed to glisten a little bit! Thighs were back to 51cm as well as my butt to 89,5-90 cm (Jayne you really are right about these temporary fluctuations! °Ô.o) I had a long close look at myself in the bathroom,wearing only my underwears and...I dunno but... I really somehow LIKED what I saw. Was not disgusted,frustrated or just ashamed. Nope. I had this pleasant feeling filling me up as I saw my really flat stomach and my collar bones. In a nutshell: I thought of myself as rather attractive and pretty....and it wasn't this kind of feeling when I try to glam myself up for a part or something. Usually I am just fairly satisfied with my face/hair and the outfit,you know?
But there I was- no make up on,almost naked. What a weird feeling.

It is really crazy how extremely my mood varies within the shortest amounts of time.
One minute I am about to jump from a cliff,hate myself to the core and am incredibly melodramtic+melancholic and then suddenly everything changes. I am all rainbows and butterflies,could hug everyone around me,am extrmely polite and jolly and simply seem to glow with hope and joy

In terms of eating: I must admit I was not 100% a good girl.
I stuffed myself with all kinds of healthy food:
mandarines,apples,asian veggie mix for dinner and some steamed broccoli+carrots with some moustard

...but then evil MIA came back and I ended up eating greedily a bag of different biscuits,lots of bread with chocolate on it,a few nuts,a Bounty,4 almond biscuits...'course I threw everything up.
Maybe I have gained. But IF I gain(won't step on the scale tomorrow 'cause anyway I'll end up with a higher result than 53,0 due to the massive amounts of fruits and veggies I consumed) it will presumably only be because of the healthy food for I might have eaten about 1000cals of it.
It's okay,right? It wasn't a complete failure,was it? It's a start. It is anything but easy to fight the MIA habits but as long as I don't lose the intention and try every day to become a healthier ED girl everything is okay.


Btw, somehow the options to modify my posts (like smaller/taller writing,italics,fat, writing position:center etc) have vanished! Does anyone know how this could happen and how I can get them back?=)

Well,actually I did not intend to go online tonight,because it is already 2AM. After being so MIAish I was a bit exhausted and just lay lazy in my bed first listening to Lord of the rings and then reading Eclipse.After that I felt like drifting a bit into little nap with the faint tought in my head that after resting a little bit I would come here. But then the wish to *see* you grw stronger and stronger and here I am =)

Now it is time to read all your blogs!
Have a good sleep sweeties ♥

Mina